Object Writing, Prose & Poetry Forum

ObjectWriting => Object Writing Word Of The Day => Topic started by: marksy on May 16, 2019, 12:52:45 AM

Title: Change
Post by: marksy on May 16, 2019, 12:52:45 AM
Silvery tower, a link of jagged cold heavy metals stacked to form a miniature rising teetering tower tower, appearing to be other worldly, alien. A shaft of warm golden light beams in dramatically through the top rectangular window panes, spotlighting the little tower, like a hot dangerous beam, threatening to set fire. Intricately hewn rough and coarse thin narrow lanes, creating rungs for miniature explorers, decorate the circular outside edges of each disk, placed carelessly atop each other, overlapping, hanging over the edges of each other like dare devils. Tinny and musky smelling, the stack of change is contrastingly dirty, grimey, and brand new a shiny, reflective. The still air quiet, intensifying sound, a sharp clink and snap like a hammer wailing on a drain pipe, my heart popping at the same time in anxiety to keep the tower stable, as I drop another silvery coin on top of the stack, building and growing the alien tower, feeling the moment my fingers release the coin like a crane, mechanically shifting its gears. Mouth open breathing carefully and deeply to avoid any breath, tasting the metallic aura…

Title: Re: Change
Post by: ChrisSoncrant on May 17, 2019, 01:05:40 AM
I just got through listening to a Tool song before reading this and your words with the memory of the song created some interesting imagery in my mind. Stephen King's Dark Tower was also echoing in my mind. I felt like the topic was hidden in a neat way. Not obvious and yet very much present. So many of the words you used were excellent seeds for my imagination to take hold of and grow into enchanted forests.

I am always unsure of how to leave feedback on these because they're written with such a tight deadline that being too critical and thinking too much will get in the way of actually writing anything. I don't sense that was a problem here, I am just stating the conflict between my desire to give useful feedback and the actual reality of these writings, which is to not think too much, just go. Also what I feel is "useful" may not be useful at all.

Your feedback on mine have been encouraging and perhaps encouragement is all that is necessary. My mind wants to give more though, yet again this may not be the context for that and this may be an overactive need for more that can get in the way of me giving anything at all.

My question to you is: what kind of feedback do you feel in this specific circumstance of timed object writings is most useful? (Perhaps this is a question that would do good in the forum...)

Title: Re: Change
Post by: marksy on June 04, 2019, 12:06:01 AM
@ChrisSoncrant - here I go apologising AGAIN...

Firstly, thank you for your detailed response (as usual)! Well what an interesting relationship of ideas. I haven't read Dark Tower yet... but it is now on my list (which is growing beyond time and measure).

This is a great discussion - how can we assist each other and help each other grow? I totally understand what you're saying - wanting to give feedback and encouragement, but feeling it may not be necessary.

Perhaps if we make suggestions or contributions as to where the object writing could have gone, and just explore as much as we can communally. It may open up new creative pathways for each other. Almost like a co-write after the fact. Of course, we all have limited time. So small suggestions here and there. Why don't we open this up to a discussion on the forum? I'm happy to start a post.

Great idea, Chris!