Object Writing, Prose & Poetry Forum

August 22, 2019, 08:16:19 PM
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This week's words;

Sunday - Instructions

Monday- Motorcycle

Tuesday- Wildflower

Wednesday- Asparagus

Thursday- Stopwatch

Friday - Confetti

Saturday-Homesick



Word of the Day
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1  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Pillow on: August 05, 2019, 11:46:56 PM
Your pillow had a cologne. Not one manufactured, mixed with essential oils and bottled up, advertised by shirtless men or suits. It smelled raw and salty like an ocean breeze at sunset while the sand shifts beneath your feet, and it was always warm as if you had only just woken up, your night's sleep still emanating from the pillow. Even when the nights turned frigid and the sun brought only light, the pillow sat like a furnace. As the days tumbled along I knew it was slowly fading. Each night the fire burned lower as your perfumed faded, overshadowed by my own desperate odour, like standing at a dump until you can't smell it anymore. I remember packing you away, sealed in a box, your cologne on a pillow, sealed until I needed you again. Stuffed into the far reaches of a little used closet where your smell can't fade. When the frigid nights turn to Summer I...
2  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Radiator on: August 04, 2019, 10:19:38 AM
A soft click interrupts the silence of the room followed by the low hiss and rumble of the radiator coming to life. Two sleeping mounds remain amongst their dreams hidden beneath the a powder grey doona that will only keep them warm as long as they are beneath it's covers. As the whisper of the radiator continues one of the forms rolls, returning a grunt and snort to the almost quiet room. Dawn is still a way off but abusive alarms lay ready to sound despite the darkness. Slowly and with deliberate effort the radiator warms, spreading gentle tendrils of heat across the room encouraging the shift from night to day and pajama'd bodies to safely tread to a nearby wardrobe, disrobe and shuffle into stiff new clothes without losing a limb or the will to get up at all in such a frosty dawn. Like clockwork the mobiles break the silence with jingle alarms and are met with groaning limbs swatting at the sound, flailing for the "Snooze" button.
3  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Horn on: July 31, 2019, 08:07:42 AM
On the road there are a few ways to communicate, a quick flash of the headlights at oncoming traffic is a comrades heads-up for a speed trap, a flashing orange light, sometimes missing from instruction manuals, signals a turn. The most flamboyant is the horn, an ear piercing pick axe that penetrates any music you listen to, assaulting your ear drums like an unwelcome blast of water to the face. Even a polite "toot" turns the blood to rage as the aural assault bubbles under your skin and jerks out with the accelerator becoming a screech of rubber on the road. The heart beat hits 110 as you swerve around the corner to prove you're not a dopey driver but achieving the opposite. A couple of minutes down the road your crazed heart settles and the echo of that horn rests in your memory while logic starts back up highlighting the obvious truth - the horn wasn't for you. As the car pulls to a stop beneath a crimson light your head sinks into a soundless chuckle as you reflect on the last couple of minutes as if at a digital camera, perusing through your latest snaps but like flour through a sieve the memory fades as the light turns green..
4  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Umbrella on: July 31, 2019, 08:02:33 AM
Thanks plamb and jamsterdam06!
5  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Umbrella on: July 30, 2019, 12:59:24 PM
The stifled drops pattered happily at the blank canvas carried above my head interrupted in their fall to the earth. The smell of rain wafts like a cool earthiness invigorating my senses while stilling my mind. It felt as if the rain were asking me to forget conscious thought and delve into the vibrant colours only water can pull from the trees, bringing old paint back to life with a glistening lustre. I looked down, noticing that I had stopped walking and splashed lightly at the water pooling at my feet. A chuckle hopped from my throat and I quickly glanced around to share the juvenile moment catching no-one's eye. With almost a shrug I started my legs forward enjoying the miniature crash of waves skittering away from every foot fall. I felt the humid air sprinkle my arms, playing with the fine hair there as it swept by. The raw smell of earth lifted my spirits like nostalgia, it's perfume perforating my thoughts and bringing back memories of camping beneath a canopy of rain, letting the pitter-patter of droplets draw me into a restful sleep after a long day of hiking and exploring, of stinking heat...
6  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Tie on: July 30, 2019, 12:54:49 PM
Awesome story with an ending "strangle myself for a paycheck, for America’s respected idols." it just sweetly sum up you're story and the whole tone it carried.
7  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Tie on: July 30, 2019, 12:52:43 PM
Lovely twist at the end where you find out who is talking! I can envisage this situation unfolding for everyone at one point in their life, at least.

I think it would have been nice if his deep breath diving into the ocean was to find something more unattainable than pearls to make it feel more desperate and downtrodden. This whole story has the web of weariness dripping through it.
8  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Umbrella on: July 30, 2019, 12:49:00 PM
I really enjoyed the narrative style you went with on this. Really casual and welcoming. It made me really love the character. I did get a little lost from the Bars and I'm keen to start a conversation about Tenses if you're into it because I want to understand the methodology better.
9  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Umbrella on: July 30, 2019, 12:43:20 PM
What a great story to read! I was smiling with the first line. You made me feel like the umbrella was like a bats wing, the fabric stretched tight over the bones. It seemed very harmonies with the mild discomfort which always comes with rain. Awesome!


Ha - harmonies. I meant harmonious....
10  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Lavender on: July 25, 2019, 10:00:53 AM
Our car pulled onto the gravel driveway its rubber wheels making music with the stones below as they squabble for space beneath it's shadow. We pull up and the gravel goes silent as the engine shudders off. Your practiced hands reach for your mobile and wallet stuffing them into pockets as you turn your feet out the door and head in towards the nursery, the gravel singing a lighter tune beneath your feet. Slowly I follow fumbling to put my phone into my backpack quietly cursing the lack of pockets on my clothes. The sun shifts softly, cut only by the chill winter breeze that has me under three layers. "Alright, what are we looking for?" your determined attitude could be insatiable, keen interest except that it's not. It's more like practical knowledge: find, price, evaluate need. Unperturbed, I gaze at the array of greenery like a girl at her first crush combined with the self control of a toddler in a supermarket making reaching out and touching everything while discovering its ideal habitat yearning to take it home. Like a dog on a leash I'm pulled into line, forced to focus on our singular goal without the fanfare of window shopping. It's difficult to stay focused when exotic leaves...
11  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Wand on: July 19, 2019, 07:27:17 AM
There's nothing quite as disappointing as gripping a beautifully carved wooden wand with magnificent titles like unicorn horn, feather of phoenix, oak, ashwood or griffon feather, words distilled with the essence of magic and feel naught but a shapely stick in your hand. There is no sparkle of stars glittering in the dim light, no shift in the wind to twist it's tail around my body and lift the goosebumps to the surface of my skin, no finger of an ancient presence brushing my neck and sending a welcome shiver down my spine. All-in-all it was more like a mid-crisis clown in an unwashed uniform reeking of BO and dirt half-heartedly tossing up torn shreds of paper he calls confetti and in a monotone grumble say "Congratulations, it chose you" before dropping a burp alongside the price, snatching your debit card from your hand as soon as you drew it from your wallet. Now I'm standing with a somehow faded receipt and a poorly packaged wand that looks good but lacks the residual fanfare to reignite my excitement for magic. I should have trusted the instinct that said imagination was for more convincing then getting the real thing. Maybe next time...
12  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Cotton Candy on: July 18, 2019, 08:11:33 AM
Haha, this was fantastic. I caught myself smiling so many times throughout. So very relatable, I wish I had written this.
13  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Cotton Candy on: July 18, 2019, 08:08:53 AM
I really like the idea of a group of people being a "freckle of folks" and now I won't be able to get that out of my mind!
14  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Saddle on: July 18, 2019, 08:07:28 AM
Saddle
... the trees are maracas that rattle to the rhythm of the wind. The grass is an audience, slowly swaying back and forth to the universal beat, the heartbeat of the land. A neigh is loosed by my dear friend, a little chuckle, I return the gesture...

Wow. The images you gave me were awesome. Everything about your story is so cohesive and friendly. It feels safe, like the person who is a hard worker taking check on the moment and there's an underlying respect for nature and (for the most part) non-verbal communication. Great stuff.
15  ObjectWriting / Object Writing Word Of The Day / Re: Saddle on: July 18, 2019, 08:02:32 AM
This is a cool story! You should go through it a second time and slow down the pace really considering how you would describe each of those moments so they can have a stronger impact. I do this with my writing sometimes and it helps me really draw out some of feelings and sensations which has definitely helped me improve from when I first started Object Writing.

I do this because when following a story I sometimes forget about these factors: Sight-Sound-Smell-Taste-Touch-Body-Movement - and just write to finish the story before the timer goes off. I forget that during the 10 minutes the goal is to be descriptive and really communicate the sensations of the moments I'm writing about.

For example, this is a Tell moment:  "I remember visiting my aunts farm in Mission when I was around 10 years old" - which you follow with the Show moment.
My first step would be to address the first sentence to make it a Show moment. (I currently believe "10 years old" is a good Show moment but who knows what I'll be thinking in a years time). Then I would find the strongest description of my memory at 10 e.g. I remember how my skin would itch with the excitement of visiting my Aunt at the end of Term/at Christmas etc.

I hope this feedback helps! This is the kind of feedback I love to get on my work so hope it inspires a new perspective for you!
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