Object Writing, Prose & Poetry Forum

April 20, 2019, 05:05:52 AM
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This week's words;

Sunday - Instructions

Monday- Motorcycle

Tuesday- Wildflower

Wednesday- Asparagus

Thursday- Stopwatch

Friday - Confetti


Word of the Day
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10
 on: April 19, 2019, 10:42:07 PM 
Started by fireystarter - Last post by Eloisenm
This was definitely a hard prompt! You've done a great job with creating this idea of a lackluster attitude of being at work. I feel like everything this person did in this scene was half-hearted and mostly from routine than deliberate intention. The most energy is given to the excitement of using a black sharpie and catching the smell.

If it helps, I use difficult topics to just going slow and hunker down on the sense-bound language which helps me be more descriptive in other more interesting topics. Sometimes the difficult stuff just falls flat and it's really disappointing afterwards haha. I will then pick a topic I like and do a 5 minute or 90 second to boost my self-esteem again!

Good work fireystarter

 on: April 19, 2019, 10:27:56 PM 
Started by Eloisenm - Last post by Eloisenm
Thanks greynights! I really loved comparing the wave of a sprinkler to a peacocks immense plumage. It was really fun the write this one

 on: April 19, 2019, 10:21:29 PM 
Started by Eloisenm - Last post by Eloisenm
I woke to the sound of my dog grumbling and haruffing, the darkness telling me it was past midnight. Drugged by sleep I clambered out of bed, my mind like Tinkerbell's holding only one thought at a time. My body was rigid with annoyance, my heart racing to catch up with my flustered intentions. I found Molly curled up on the black and red floral print arm chair, not even bothering to rise and face the challenge of whatever she was grumbling at. 1 foot nothing and a complete bossy boots, she was head of security in this household. Before I could move her I heard the voices of men talking outside. I felt their words like they were standing over my shoulder and I slunk to the windows where the curtains had been pulled shut. At the edge I shifted the curtains slightly, enough to let a single eye take in the scene. For a moment it was fruitless, the sleep blind eyes and the dark cloudy night offering no contrast or colour blending the world almost like fog. The sound of glass bottles shattering on bitumen...

 on: April 19, 2019, 09:56:16 PM 
Started by ChrisSoncrant - Last post by teejayess
This is really good. I can visualize the scene. I need to let my mind take over like this...

 on: April 19, 2019, 09:51:28 PM 
Started by teejayess - Last post by teejayess
I really appreciate your feedback! I am just getting started and have a strong desire to improve. I've been writing songs for a while, but my lyrics fall short. Reading through Pat's book and starting my journey. Your feedback is a big help in opening my eyes to possibility!

Thanks so much Chris!


 on: April 19, 2019, 09:21:52 PM 
Started by John M - Last post by John M
the sun is steaming on this hot summer day,
i'll slip into my trunks before i make my way,
down to the pebble shoreline of minnehonk lake,

i'll touch my toes into the surface
like the little thermometers they are,
to decide if a swim would be worth it

the lawn to my back smells fresh cut,
a sprinkler system chirps somewhere in the yard,
schools out for the summer,
no more desks to anchor me now
im as free as a bird, there's no bringing me down

i'll take a running start and then off the dock i'll dive
head first into my sweet sixteen prime

 on: April 19, 2019, 06:25:04 PM 
Started by Eloisenm - Last post by greyknights
Great description! I especially liked:  "You can feel the crickets on your ears like a bad case of tinnitus," "we can hear Dad toiling way, somehow immune to the oppressive heat," "the feeble attempt of the sprinkler spitting water lamely, searching for green grass" "the peacock wave of the sprinkler swinging back and forth, glittering like crystals in the sunlight."

 on: April 19, 2019, 06:17:05 PM 
Started by greyknights - Last post by greyknights
I brushed my fingers over the rough sandstone wall in my friend's backyard. The yellow-green, semi-transparent corrugated fiberglass awning stretched out over his back deck, almost reaching this sandstone wall. The sunlight pelting through the roof projected thin vertical shadows all along the wall. As I run my hand over the craters and carvings in the sandstone, my pale skin flutters in and out of these vertical shadows. My tongue twists around my teeth, unleashing fresh chunks of my recently scarfed peanut butter sandwich, each morsel is nutty and creamy. Hanging down over the wall, like long thick vines, are four old garden hoses. Squeezing tightly, feeling the tubing collapse, we climb the wall...

 on: April 19, 2019, 04:55:11 PM 
Started by teejayess - Last post by ChrisSoncrant
"Unwound from its winter crypt, cobwebbed and crusty" - nice imagery here, it's visceral. I would like to give feedback because there are seeds of sentences here that have imagery within waiting to bloom. For example "The garden needs water to grow" perhaps it can be a thirsty garden, parched, cracked dirt, like dry skin, itching with a hungry desire to feed my family with the bounty that lies waiting within these tiny shiny seeds. "Finally the water can be turned on" - the water is clamoring for me turn its stubborn nob, like a puppy at the door ready for its walk. The lazy thought of a sprinkler system toys at the edges of my mind, but my liquid enjoyment of watching these plants grow washes it away. Cornstalks and tomato plants race to get tall enough to hop on the rollercoaster ride. A lonely crotchety old scarecrow bickers the cackling crows away like an old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Ground netting like castle ramparts protecting the growing citizens from the marauding rabbits and masquerading coons.

The seeds are there. The infrastructure is there. That's the hardest part. You've done the hard part, now just let your mind run with it. Let it do what it did with that first sentence. Looking forward to reading more, and I hope this helps and is not discouraging because that is not my intention. I want to see the bounty of harvests that lies within your sparkling mind my friend. I really do.

 on: April 19, 2019, 04:43:01 PM 
Started by andrewpayne55 - Last post by ChrisSoncrant
Dang. This is awesome. What I love is there's a question that rises in my mind: "Was this really written in 10 minutes?" I believe it was. That question is just a marker for how awesome it is. Reminds me of Robert Frost who stated how his epic poem Stopping By Woods On a Snowy Evening was one of the fastest poems he wrote. He did not think he just wrote. Great job. I resonate with these words strongly. Thank you for this beautiful poem. I can't imagine this poem flowing out if you did not feel this very way right now. I am right there taking turns with you. Take care.

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