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Author Topic: Ashes Ashes - Writing Better Lyrics Exercise 11  (Read 1502 times)
JulianJim
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« on: March 22, 2016, 09:35:33 AM »

Hey guys, here's my shot at exercise 11 from Pattison's 'Writing Better Lyrics'.

Curious if you like it, please let me know if you have any comments or suggestions!

ashes ashes

armored with a harness
of playground beliefs
you’re rescuing the city
from villains and thieves
driving your red skelter
as fast as you can
waving a water gun
beware of this man
   screaming you’re the sheriff in town
   ashes ashes, all fall down

who could know the water
you fired for fun
would grow into a bullet
to blow from your gun
driving your Sherman
straight to the wall
stacking up bodies
at the shattered town hall
   shoot until you run out of rounds
   ashes ashes, all fall down

polish your medal
adorn the lapel
of the new uniform
that suits you too well
you manage, not thinking
of serving at war
in fact you think nothing
of nothing no more
   screaming you’re the sheriff in town
   ashes ashes, all fall down
« Last Edit: March 29, 2016, 01:42:55 AM by JulianJim » Logged
JohnnyV
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« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2016, 04:31:52 AM »

Really nice lyrics. Good job! Thanks.

JohnnyV
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