Object Writing, Prose & Poetry Forum

November 15, 2018, 12:19:19 AM
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This week's words;

Sunday - Instructions

Monday- Motorcycle

Tuesday- Wildflower

Wednesday- Asparagus

Thursday- Stopwatch

Friday - Confetti

Saturday-Homesick



Word of the Day
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Author Topic: Working on a Song  (Read 707 times)
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StoneyMusic
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« on: September 26, 2018, 06:48:05 PM »

Just a work in progress.  I'd enjoy some feedback. 

Don't you talk about me
Don't you talk about me
Don't you talk about me
To the police

Why is this microwave so weak?
Why is this microwave so weak?
Why is this microwave so weak?
No sizzle

I'm so mad I can't eat
I'm so mad I can't eat
I'm so mad I can't eat
Do you want this hot pocket?

I'm so dirty I stink
I'm so dirty I stink
I'm so dirty I stink
Only you're required to be clean

I'm so lazy I'll pee
I'm so lazy I'll pee
I'm so lazy I'll pee
In my pants

I always die when I sleep
I always die when I sleep
I always die when I sleep
No dreams
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John M
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« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2018, 10:28:10 PM »

sup stoney?

i'd say the only thing missing the one thing to tie it all together. is there a common theme here? i'd almost pick a single verse or line, and build from that. perhaps provide a little more context for each verse, unless abstract is what you are aiming for.

the high points:

don't you talk about me to the police (could def take this further)

i always die when i sleep, no dreams (could def take this further)

got any melodies for this?

-john
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