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April 21, 2019, 12:27:17 PM
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This week's words;

Sunday - Instructions

Monday- Motorcycle

Tuesday- Wildflower

Wednesday- Asparagus

Thursday- Stopwatch

Friday - Confetti

Saturday-Homesick



Word of the Day
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Author Topic: Mouse  (Read 39 times)
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marksy
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« on: April 15, 2019, 12:27:13 AM »

Bitter dark roasted coffee in warm smooth micro puddles slowly slithering on my tongue, filling what I imagine to be thousands of small holes on the surface of my tongue or drains which fill and tantalise my taste buds, exploding. The caffeinated aura intensifies and rises in an invisible plume up through the back of my throat into my nose where I can smell the depth and strength of the beans. The mug taps down onto the saucer like a tap dancer adding the period to his performance. I carelessly allowed coffee to spill down the edges in a miniature brown waterfall, colouring and tainting the white walls in a post-modern display of gravitational protest. Waiting, hoping the caffeine courses through my veins, surging my brain into a muscular explosion. My right hand tensing, muscles constricting, as I slowly move to handle my mouse. It’s laying dormant, waiting in frustration to cry out in clicks. Like a thousand CC’s of volts, the caffeine kick starts my pulse, focus narrowing to tunnel vision, sensing and feeling a moment of inspiration I grab…
« Last Edit: April 17, 2019, 02:02:10 AM by marksy » Logged
Eloisenm
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« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 09:57:19 PM »

Awesome language in here. It really feels like a painful morning waiting for the caffeine to kick in followed by desperate attachment to the caffeine.
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marksy
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« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2019, 02:04:50 AM »

Thank you Eloise! My daily routine  Tongue if you have any thoughts about things you may think could use improvement, please share! I'd love some constructive criticism Smiley
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HndWrtn
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« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2019, 02:48:00 PM »

-The mug taps down onto the saucer like a tap dancer adding the period to his performance.

Wow. That's pretty good.
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Eloisenm
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« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2019, 10:22:51 PM »

Hey marksy, I'm always for sharing ideas! If you wanted to play with the ideas, it could be cool to follow the coffee down the drains and into your blood stream rather than having them fill up. You could expand on the depth and strength of the beans, what it smells like, what it reminds you of, how it makes you feel etc. You could even talk about how ineffective your body is before the caffeine hits, is it slow and languid? heavy? rough around the edges?

None of this was what I thought on first reading it. I've just gone through it again and thought these ideas would be fun to explore.
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marksy
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« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2019, 11:42:21 PM »

Thank you @ HndWrtn! There's nothing like trying to come up with a fun simile Tongue

@ Eloise - those are some great ideas! Exploring what it reminds me of would be great - it opens up a world of places, sensory ideas. Great feedback. Thank you!
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