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This week's words;

Sunday - Instructions

Monday- Motorcycle

Tuesday- Wildflower

Wednesday- Asparagus

Thursday- Stopwatch

Friday - Confetti


Word of the Day
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Author Topic: Case Study- Battered up dodge#1  (Read 1982 times)
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« on: February 16, 2008, 06:47:56 PM »

Something I started working on last week became my course work for this week;

 Initially I had the concept as follows:

nothing seems to change

The car is a METAPHOR for the relationship….
All the couple seem to do is drive
the road is somewhat the same
Occasionally a bend or curve in the roads
 an adventure to another town or place
He’s lookin’ at other cars [girls]
but knows that there is some intimate connection with the old faithful and cannot let it go

Battered up Dodge © Paul J Penton Feb2008

We’re just humming along
in this battered up dodge [the relationship]
down a ribbon of road so straight
you could leverage the earth
the only thing to tell the time
is the swish of another telegraph pole [line]
the fields of icing sugar wheat
are sucked up in a blue tongue of sky

we just keep driving
nothing seems to happen
we just keep on driving
nothing seems to change
where do you think we’re going?
on this blue sky clear haze day?
where do you think we’re going?

you give a news-show pick of events
It all seems fairly happy
and I reply with incidents
and highlights of the week
I really like this driving
sometimes though I think
it would be nice to have a better car
do you think we could discuss it
what model and what year?

The suspension is sort of shot on this Dodge
we bounce all over the road
you don’t like pulling into roadhouses
the motor boils in summer
the transmission whines a bit
but it’s still a comfortable ride
Do you want a better ride
do you want to sit more comfortable?

 I went to one of them dealerships
 those cars sure looked sparkly and nice
so many extra features
 for just a little extra price
I eyed that Dodge through a plate glass view
 and somewhere inside I already knew
there was no way I was ever gonna give it up

I then  took some of these core ideas and did a worksheet and a finishedy sort of lyric.....
battered up Dodge #2. >>>> http://objectwriting.com/index.php?topic=322.msg473;topicseen#msg473
« Last Edit: February 16, 2008, 07:01:44 PM by Paul » Logged

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