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Author Topic: Depression  (Read 3356 times)
David
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« on: July 18, 2011, 07:49:12 AM »

Depression
Looks like an old house with peeling paint and rotting shutters
Sounds like the air being slowly let out of balloom
Feels like your muscles donít have the energy to run
Tastes like your mouth when you first wake up in the morning
Smells like old clothes not worn in years
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lostintheblue
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« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2011, 05:41:33 AM »

I like this one.  Metaphors are a bit difficult for me to come up with, yet -- in the process of our group trying to come up with original material to be used in songs -- I realize that these and the object writing exercises are helpful.
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TonyP
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« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2012, 11:49:05 AM »

I say this purely as an academic point (not criticism and I know I am being somewhat pedantic!).

But isn't this more of a simile (like) than a metaphor.  I appreciate and like the 5 senses framework in which it is pitched and that makes it a real challenge to express in metaphoric terms.  I've tried and I don't think it works for me anyway.  Something like...

Depression is an old house with peeling paint, filled with tired ballons hissing their final breath - a sticky early morning mouth shrouded in an old sweat-soaked jacket.

Added later:  Errrm - I've just come back to this and I see David, the original poster, has closely followed the template suggested in the preamble to this sub-forum.  So I'm sorry I've picked out his post when I guess my comments should be aimed at the originator.  P'raps I'd better do that.  Sorry David.

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« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 03:39:41 PM by TonyP » Logged
Roberttign
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« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2013, 07:44:03 PM »

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