Interview- Object Writing July 09

admin July 8th, 2008

It’s a tightrope walk, a dance of anticipation and outright fear, I walk in balancing my pole hoping they won’t notice it. Thinking ‘CONFIDENCE’, definitely the key. Sitting positively in the chair see-sawing into position, not too far forward nor back. My eye swivels across the panel, a momentary clicking of the key in the lock of their eye, but not too long, not too familiar. A comment about the mundane art on the wall or the curling bank of grey clouds that are grappling with the building.

Throat is oven dry, been sucking on a lozenge for five minutes before entry but it hasn’t loosed up any rivers of saliva, voice is scratchy, croaky, not sonorous as I imagined in my mental walk through. I reach for water. It gargles around my mouth like mercury in a thermometer on a hot day, like a raft going through rapids on a raging river. There, that’s better. “as I was saying”…………. I bite into a sandwhich of confidence that the water has provided me and begin to rise above the barbed wire nerves that jangle in my tummy, I am lifting off, locked into the seat, safety drills dispensed with, my voice roaring with power, like a set of jet engines at take off, but not too loud, just quiet confident power. I am a floating  balloon up there with the dull clouds that seem to be parting through tethered weighty glass. Smoky questions rise from the panelists and I get the bellows out and pump them up to a roaring crackle. This is gonna work! I sense I’ve got the position. What was I worried about? I walk out carrying a 250 kg weight above my head–EASY-, hey I can do anything! I look on at the other chumps who are going to be eaten for breakfast and pass into the elevator. My tummy is left on floor 39 as it descends.

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